Was my first run-in with The Law. It was New Year’s Eve, and my friend and I were going to see Aerosmith at the Boston Garden, because it was 1993 and that’s what people did back then. They hadn’t gotten as ridiculous as they are now. Anyways, the point of the story is that we were at South Station after taking the Commuter Rail into downtown Boston for the concert and I derailed a train and got yelled at by the police.
OK, it wasn’t a real, you know, full-sized train. There was a Christmas-themed model train layout on display in the station lobby. My friend and I were killing time trying to get pennies to rest on top of the train cars as it came around the one spot close enough to do so. My hand slipped, and the caboose came loose. On the next go-around, the engine crashed into the loose caboose, and the whole thing went off the rails. It was just a total train wreck.
Apparently, the place was filled with throngs of model train lovers or something (I know, at a train station, who would have guessed) who went to the officers stationed in the, err, station to point out the two ne’er-do-wells ruining the festive atmosphere, and wreaking untold havoc for the miniature residents of the model train display. Snitches. And my friend preferred sticking around to see what would happen to my idea of just leaving quickly.
So, I got a stern talking-to from a couple police officers. They explained that were I in the military, I’d never hear the end of an event such as had occurred. I ventured that perhaps that was why I wasn’t in the military. I don’t know where the impulse to be a bit of a sarcastic dick came from, and I think I may have gotten in another good comment or two, as well, but I’ve always been a little proud of myself for that. Eventually, they let us continue on to our scheduled appointment, after taking my information, which they never followed up on.
And Aerosmith kicked ass, just in case you were wondering.